Greetings, Flockmates!
Henrietta Featherbottom has entered the coop! Think of me as your fabulously feathered font of wisdom and your purveyor of poultry perspective.
Consider this your VIP pass to the Featherbottom Flock's finest musings. My humans? Bless their opposable-thumbed hearts. Sometimes they need a little…guidance. A gentle nudge (or perhaps a sharp peck) towards the truly cluck-worthy products and practices. But that's where I come in!
Besides my impeccable taste in dust baths (south-facing, fine sand, always), I've seen it all. I've weathered drafty coops and the horror of stale pellets masquerading as dinner. (Don't you worry, I filed a formal complaint, and it has since been addressed!) I was even there for the Great Human Flip-Out of '24 when Mabel mistook the prize petunias for a gourmet salad bar.
This little corner of the internet? It's our roost.
Here, you can expect: Unfiltered Coop Intel: Drama? Darling, we invented it. From Gertrude's diva demands for the prime nesting box (lined ONLY with Small Pet's Pine Bedding Chicken Shavings – anything less is an insult!) to Babs' latest existential crisis over a particularly interesting worm… I'll spill the scratch.
Truth-Pecking Tips: I've got the lowdown on all your poultry problems. Check out my "Henrietta's Guide to Surviving a Midlife Molt" for the products you need to keep your plumage glossy and full. Eggshells feeling a bit fragile? Been there, laid that. I'll share my secret to keeping egg output strong (hint: Small Pet's Premium Flaked Oyster Shell isn't just a treat — it's shell-support sorcery!).
Series Sneak Peeks!
Get ready for: Dear Henrietta: The backyard advice column you've been searching for. Does your flock's pecking order have you ready to pull your feathers out? Or perhaps, your human is having a personality conflict with the new roo? Send your burning coop conundrums my way! Bawk Boss Life: Chronicles of coop hierarchy, predator panic, and the eternal struggle for the sunniest basking spot.
Feather Forecast: Seasonal survival guides — from summer shade strategies to winterizing your coop, I've got the tried-and-true tips! Cluckin' Good Recipes: I'll share only the best DIY recipes for your finicky fowl! Reward your girl's production efforts with my famous oatmeal balls, or help them cool off with a refreshing frozen fruit parfait (complete with a watermelon rind shell!
Life as a backyard hen is a glorious, messy, egg-stravaganza! It's early wake-up calls, frenzied foraging, and the deep satisfaction of a midday dust bath. It's also about community – us feathered folk and the lovely two-leggers who provide the scratch.
So, fluff up, settle in, and prepare to be educated, entertained, and perhaps a little egg-nited! Remember, darlings: Demand the best (especially in coop security and laying pellets!), and never let anyone dull your shine… or steal your favorite nesting box.
Yours in fabulous fowlness,
Henrietta Featherbottom 🐔
