Hello. It’s Belinda.
Have you seen our new product for St. Patrick’s Day? It’s a “leprechaun edition” healthy snacker with cilantro and pear.
I wish I could take credit for it but it wasn’t my idea. Not sure who gets the honors.
However, my agent did ask me to pitch in a few suggestions for this and other spring promotions. After what happened last time I felt a little jumpy about the whole thing.
In case you didn’t read about it, just after the new year, I came up with ideas for new products. A jumbo bag of dirt for digging, a new herbal blend with plants from other continents and an exercise pen made from sticks.
Not to brag, but I thought they’d all be a big hit. Instead, the team said my ideas were “original” but “impractical.” Which put even more pressure on me for my next round.
But that’s why they call it work and that’s what I did, right through my morning half-nap. For three days in a row.
By the time I sent my suggestions to my agent I felt like I had my groove back.
Unfortunately, my roommate was walking past at that exact moment and I showed her my report. Thought she’d be impressed and maybe an extra snacker would be coming my way. Cilantro pear or otherwise.
My first idea was to sell bags of four-leaf clovers. I even wrote the ad: “Imagine your rabbit’s face when he hears you open a bag and sees you pour a pile of these rare clovers onto his plate.” My roommate said it would take “forever” to find enough four-leaf clovers to fill one bag.
“It’s just not practical,” she said. That word again.
My second idea was to offer something for the humans for a change. Bags of coffee beans grown in Ireland. For making Irish coffee.
My roommate looked at me and didn’t say anything for about two minutes. Then she said that isn’t what Irish coffee means. There is no such thing as coffee grown in Ireland, according to roommatopedia.
At this point I wanted her to stop reading. Didn’t need her negativity and besides she doesn’t work for the company anyway.
But it was too late. She was already onto my third suggestion, which wasn’t for a product. Instead, I had the idea that the entire team should fly to Ireland to research shamrocks and such.
Because how can we come up with St. Patrick’s Day specials when we’re stuck in the United States?
Well, I guess this was very entertaining because my roommate laughed out loud.
“Belinda, do you know what it costs to fly a group of people to Ireland?”
I didn’t answer. Not my job. I don’t keep the books and I have no interest in the price of airfare and clover-picking. My job is to speak for rabbits and other tasks as assigned.
Well, so far my agent has not said anything to me about my ideas. So I’m in limbo on that.
In the meantime, I’m enjoying these leprechaun edition healthy snackers. “Top of the morning” to whomever came up with mixing cilantro and pear.
It’s not just tasty. It’s practical.
Sincerely,
Belinda
Spokesrabbit, Small Pet Select
