Belinda Says Hay: “The Prank Backfired”

Hello. It's Belinda.

Today's the day.

Midwest BunFest in Columbus Ohio.

Are you there? If so, I hope you have a fun time. Let me know if you go and what you liked best.

Also I'd like to ask you to do a favor for me.

Stop by the Small Pet Select table. Ask the "spokesperson" how the hay tastes.

Spoiler alert. They won't know. Because humans don't eat hay.

I should be working that table. Talking to rabbits. Instead I'm stuck here at home with the petsitter.

That's right. My roommate went on some kind of "weekend getaway." Didn't tell us where she was going.

So the petsitter moved in yesterday morning. 

I was in such a mood about the whole thing that even before she got here I decided to pull a big prank on her.

The petsitter is nice enough. But it’s better if my roommate just stays home. Then rabbits aren’t forced to use bad judgment.

My first bad decision was deciding to get into mischief.

My next piece of bad judgment was listening to the English.

I can't believe I'm even saying that out loud.

Here's what happened. I asked Little Fang to help me "brainstorm" a good prank to pull. 

Little Fang had some good ideas. And she just blurts them out.

"Hide her shoes."

See what I mean. That's a good one.

Unfortunately, too risky. I’d have to "creep and crawl" to the bedroom level. Then I’d have to know which shoes belong to the petsitter and which shoes belong to my roommate. Too much work.

"Turn on all the lights in the house."

Again, that's an A+ prank in my opinion.

Except I’m too short. Also I don’t like the overhead lights. There’s a time and a place for that.

The whole time we were having our “brainstorm,” I wasn’t paying attention to the English. His double pen is still set up next to Little Fang's.

Of course he was eavesdropping on us.

“I have an idea,” he said.

I ignored him. Not interested.

“Listen to him,” said Little Fang.

“Listen to his idea.”

She has a big crush on him. I tried to tell her what he's like but you can't talk to rabbits about these things.

The English pulled his left ear forward and groomed it. Acting like he had all the time in the world. 

He worked and worked on his ear. Making us wait.

Then he said it.

"You should pretend you didn’t eat your dinner."

That was his big idea.

And to tell you the truth, it was pretty good.

Because to be honest I don’t like the way the petsitter serves my food.

I don’t care for the “plating.”

I like my hay on one side and my pellets on the other. Then a "sprinkle" of herbal mix on top.

Last but not least, my loop. It should be placed at the "noon" position.

Well, the petsitter doesn't follow any of that. She just throws my hay down like I'm some kind of barn animal.

Then she puts my pellets and loop on the same plate. With herbal mix on the side.

Pretending to "reject" my dinner sounded like an excellent prank.

So last night I did it. I ate my dinner but then I did a big "fake out."

I walked to my stash and pulled out some hay, pellets, herbal mix and a loop.

This took a long time, by the way. Mostly because I knew the English was watching. I had to stand at odd angles so he couldn't see where I hid the good stuff.

I carried everything to my plate and dumped it. 

Then I waited.

It didn’t take long for the petsitter to return to the bottom level. She was carrying a water pitcher in one hand and as she walked toward me she suddenly stopped in her tracks.

“Belinda!” she said. “You haven’t touched your food!”

She turned to look at Little Fang's plate. Empty. Same for the English. 

She looked back at me with a worried expression. The same look I drew last year when I was hiding and she couldn't find me. 

Mission accomplished, I thought. I felt pretty smug, if you want to know the truth.

The petsitter walked upstairs. She returned a minute later with her phone pressed to her head.

“Not one bit of it,” she said to the person on the phone.

Then she was quiet as she listened.

“Yes, the other two ate everything. I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

She listened again. I could hear a voice through the phone. The voice was loud and "tinny." 

I heard the tinny voice say "trick her" and "carrier."

My roommate!

“OK, I’ll call the vet right now,” said the pet sitter.

No. No. No no no no.

“I’ll let you know what they say."

By the time she was finished with that sentence, I think you know what I was doing.

Eating.

I was eating hay as fast as I’ve ever eaten hay.

Then I started on the pellets. I chewed with my mouth open. Sorry for the "TMI."

“What on earth!” said the petsitter.

I crammed more hay into my mouth.

“You won’t believe this,” she said into the phone.

The petsitter stood and watched me. I pretended not to notice.

“She just started eating. It’s as if she understood us.”

I heard laughing. A big clap of tinny laughing.

“She tried to pull a fast one,” said the tinny voice.

Well that's enough blog for today. I'm not even going to write the rest of the story.

The bottom line is the prank was on me.

And it was all because of the English.

Sincerely,

Belinda 

Spokesrabbit, Small Pet Select
Belinda@smallpetselect.com