Hello. It’s Belinda.
Midwest BunFest is in six days and I am not ready. I am not ready at all.
I am “working the booth.” Josh from the warehouse will be there. I’m not sure where I’m sleeping. And my hair is flat.
Thanks to all of the above, I have been unable to focus all week.
Instead of helping me to pack or practice my lines, my roommate keeps nagging.
“Why do you keep hanging out by the front door?”
“For the last time, stay away from that alfalfa box!”
The thing is, the FedEx truck comes willy-nilly. I like surprises but not when I’m waiting for a box from somewhere or someone, nothing in particular but you never know. It doesn’t hurt to look out the door.
As for the alfalfa, my nerves are shot from worrying about Midwest BunFest and I need a mood hay. There’s a time for a nice legume and this is it.
You might wonder, “What’s to worry about?”
Plenty.
The crowds.
My roommate says rabbit rescues from all over the country travel to Midwest BunFest. I assume they bring their adoptable rabbits with them. Hundreds of them. So I guess BunFest is an outdoor festival with camping and activities.
I don’t want to be a pessimist, but how can 500 to 1,000 rabbits spend the weekend running around loose without causing complete mayhem? I don’t want to get caught up in that.
Working the booth.
I still don’t know what I’m supposed to do at the Small Pet Select booth. But I can help Josh from the warehouse with whatever he needs.
The others can walk around the campground with hay samples or snacker bags. No reason to stay with me and J.
Also, I haven’t seen the schedule. I can be flexible, but I need time for breakfast 1, breakfast 2, pre-lunch and three half-naps. Plus I need to be back at the hotel for my afternoon full-nap.
Accommodations.
First of all, getting to Columbus. I suppose they’ll send a company car for me.
My roommate says I’m staying at the hotel. But which hotel? Do I have my own room? Are there dryers for me to sleep behind?
No answers. So I’m bringing my own pen, several pounds of pellets and a salad cooler.
And although I am representing the company and have to be friendly, I do not want any festival rabbits in my room.
My hair.
From the minute I found out about BunFest, my Lionhead issues have been back.
I’ll be meeting rabbits from all over. What if they ask how I got this job? Even if they don’t say it, I’ll know what they mean: I’m not fancy.
Meanwhile, my autumn molt started last week. So I decided to let it go. Drove me crazy to have tufts everywhere but I thought I needed the fullness.
Well, my agent said the company doesn’t want me “shedding all over the booth.” So I could either wear a hairnet or let her groom me. I am not wearing a hairnet, so now I’m flat again.
When the festival rabbits come to the booth covered in mud and grass stains, I will just hold my head high. I may be plain, but I know my timothy. I may ride around in a limo, but I’m still a rabbit.
Josh from the warehouse.
My roommate said that Josh will be “loading up his truck” with hay, healthy snackers, herb mixes and all the rest.
I don’t care about any of that. Plus that’s for the camping rabbits.
What do I want? I just want Josh to see me as more than just a spokesrabbit.
And after BunFest, when he is back at the warehouse, I want him to tell the others,
“You know, that Belinda. She’s one of us. I couldn’t do the booth without her.
And she’s down to earth, but in a good way—not tearing up the hotel landscaping like the festival rabbits.”
I want him to think of me every time he unloads a bale of alfalfa.
And if he wants to ship some to me, even in an unmarked tube or envelope stamped “magazines inside,” that would be fine.
Speaking of deliveries and alfalfa, I have something I need to do.
Sincerely,
Belinda
Spokesrabbit, Small Pet Select
