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Belinda Says Hay: “Ask Belinda, Draft 1”

Ask Belinda, Draft 1

Hello. It’s Belinda.

First things first. There’s a comment box at the bottom so I hope you will say hi.

And without any further to-do … welcome to my first “Ask Belinda” blog.

I hope you like it but keep in mind this isn’t the real one. This is a first draft.

You might be wondering why I’m showing a draft instead of the final version and there are two reasons.

The first is my agent. She usually takes a quick look at my blogs before she emails them out to everyone. Fixes the spelling and that sort of thing.

Well on Monday, out of the blue, she told me she wanted three extra days to proofread this blog. Like I can just pull three days out of a hat.

“I need to see the advice you’re giving, Belinda. I want to make sure it conforms to policy.”

The thing is I’m not writing about policy. I’m answering questions my friends left for me the last time I had a comment box.

But as Dale Carnegie says, you have to “meet them halfway.” My agent wanted to see the final version and she will. I’ll send it to her next week.

In the meantime I’m going to publish this on the blog page and email it to everyone.

How did I get the password? Let's just say rabbits are good at covering their tracks and agents are not.

The other reason I’m doing this is I’m a wreck. I keep redoing my answers.

When I started this column a few weeks ago, I was having the time of my life. Felt like I was writing a letter to a friend.

But then my notary told me I needed to include a statement from a lawyer. Which was a curve ball.

Then my agent started nagging me about policy. Everyday asking me, “How’s that draft coming? Ready for me to run it past HR?”

I can’t do my best work with all this pressure. Can’t sleep either—tossing and turning through my half-naps. Worrying that I bit off more than I can chew.

So that’s why this is just a first draft and everyone should be happy.

Ask Belinda

“The opinions below are from Belinda the Spokesrabbit.” Which should be obvious but not to lawyers.

“What was your Halloween costume?”

 Dr. Fluffy McFluffikins, PhD, thank you for asking this fun question.

Last year I dressed up as a Lionhead and I was thinking about a repeat for 2018. But the truth is we skipped the whole costume and candy “brouhaha” this year because my roommate didn’t feel well. She spent most of the week napping on the bedroom level.

When we heard the trick-or-treaters laughing with the neighbors, my roommate turned off every light in the house and pulled down the window blinds. I sat in the dining room in the pitch black and ate a few pumpkin healthy snackers.

Not sure if my roommate was eating candy in the dark upstairs but if so, I wouldn’t say boo.

“Do you enjoy traveling? What does your roommate do to make sure you're comfortable when on the road or in the air?”

Hi Cindy DeRosier and Cassandra Cat. Thanks for using the comment box.

Well this is a tricky one. I don’t remember the trip from New Zealand so I can’t say anything about the flight. Not even sure if I still have “air miles.”

Mostly I ride with my roommate in her car and the whole thing is a blur.

First I board the car carrier inside the house. It’s big enough to turn around inside and there’s a folded towel on the floor so my feet don’t slide around. Which is nice.

Then my roommate picks up the carrier and I ride the “cable car” out the door, over the front yard to the driveway.  She tucks the carrier sideways in the back so I stay put.

After that I have no idea where we are until she takes me out again. It can be a 10-minute drive to my agent’s house or three hours west to Midwest BunFest. I just watch the trees and big trucks out the window until I nod off.

My goal for 2019 is a company tour bus but that’s hush-hush for now.

“How can I encourage my rabbits(s) to eat more hay?”

A big thank you to Barbara Bueche, Coco, Chloe, Valerie Harper, Angela Dancy and Floppy for asking about this.

Hay is my favorite topic. I could write a book about all the different ways to serve it. But my answer to your question is only six pages long so here goes.

First you need to remember the popular rhyme:

For every time of day,

There’s a perfect kind of hay.

You might choose to start with something traditional for “first hay,” for example, which is served in the morning. Second-cut timothy is perfectly acceptable in my opinion.

But what if your rabbit seems insulted? Remember that “presentation” matters. If your rabbit prefers to pull dried grasses from a hay manger, and you serve it in a heap on the floor, then you are going to get the side-eye when you

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