Hello. It’s Belinda.
I don’t know if I should laugh or thump.
I mean about my office. I haven’t seen it yet as I’m still at my agent’s house.
But my roommate stopped by with a little “update.”
It all started the other day. My boyfriend’s companion and I had a late lunch and we were relaxing. Watching “Friends.“
(In case you were wondering we had oat hay for lunch. With Zen Tranquility herbal mix on the side.)
Suddenly we heard footsteps on the stairs.
I assumed it was my agent coming to nag me about my second-anniversary project. Which is due “yesterday” if you know what I mean.
The whole thing launches next week so watch for it.
Anyway I wasn’t in the mood for nagging so I closed my eyes. She's not supposed to bother me when I’m asleep. Which is in my contract.
The footsteps stopped at our door. I could feel her standing in the hall. Looking at me to see if I was faking.
“Foster mom,” said my boyfriend’s companion.
“Good afternoon ladies!” said my roommate.
I opened my eyes and my stomach jumped. My boyfriend's companion was right. It wasn’t my agent after all.
It was my roommate. Leaning against the wall with a goofy look on her face.
“I have big news!”
She walked toward us and I sat up. Ready to go.
I hoped she would just “cut the small talk” and load us into the carriers. Not good to take car rides immediately after lunch but I was willing to risk it.
My thought was just get us home. She could tell us her announcement later. And send for our belongings another day.
Well you can guess what happened next. The instant she noticed the TV she forgot all about her reason for visiting.
“Is this the one where they carry the couch upstairs?”
She stood for a few minutes, looking up at the screen. Ross yelled "Pivot!" and so did my roommate.
Then she sat on the floor beside me and leaned back against some hay boxes.
Imagine the scene. Pretend you're a “fly on the wall.” Imagine my face.
This went on for three episodes. The one where Ross plays the bagpipes. The one where Chandler is locked in a vestibule. And the one where Joey gets a new brain.
My boyfriend’s companion and I didn’t move a muscle. Just waited for our roommate to pack us up or tell us what was going on. Hard to enjoy “Friends” with all that hanging over our heads.
Finally she looked at me and reached over to fix my ear fur.
“Belinda I have a surprise at home.”
Then she said it.
“I bought a new office for you. You will love it.”
Once again my stomach flipped. And not in a good way.
My office is fine. Everything set up the way I like it.
She went on and on about how we need more “storage” in the house. And with the flood cleanup it was the “perfect time” to make improvements.
The bottom line is she turned my office into a closest.
I didn’t hear anything after that, if you want to know the truth.
But I acted like everything was fine. And she told us the renovations were “almost done” and we’d "be home soon."
She gave us fresh water and a few snackers. I don't even know what flavor. That tells you something about my state of mind.
Then she left. Maybe she was going to the closet store. For "accessories."
I didn't ask.
And maybe I shouldn't say this but I ate so much hay that night it made my face hurt.
Sincerely,
Belinda,
Spokesrabbit, Small Pet Select
