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Belinda Says Hay: “Opposite”

belinda says hay opposite

Hello. It’s Belinda.

I finally got feedback on my ideas for new products and I’m eating nonstop. Because they are not going to use my ideas, even though they like them. Which makes no sense.

So now my Christmas hay is almost gone and I don’t even care.

It all started when my agent invited me over for a “spa day.” Help me with my molt, do my nails. That sort the thing.

She even had a bag of strawberry rose healthy snackers waiting, which was nice.

Well, whenever I’m groomed, something weird happens in my mind. It goes in to two directions.

When she starts pulling off the tufts, all I can think is Belinda run. Run away and shake off that itchy trapped feeling.

But after a minute or two, I get so sleepy I can’t move my legs and I don’t want to.

It’s like when you’re digging the carpet behind the chair but afterwards, when your whole body is yawning, down your shoulders and back. And by the time I feel that stretching and yawning I’m in a half-nap and forget I’m at my agent’s house.

That’s the state of mind I was in when she sprung it on me.

“Belinda, we need to discuss your ideas for new products.”

Just like that. Nothing scheduled. No time to prepare.

She started talking about how the company “appreciated my input” and how my ideas “showed a lot of effort and creativity.” On and on while I waited for her to cut to the chase, if you know what I mean. So I could decide stay or go.

Then she said it. Told me my product ideas were “not practical.”

The Jumbo Bag of Dirt would cost too much to prepare and ship. So that’s out.

Then the “What’s My Breed?” Herbal Blend. Turns out they ran the numbers and getting the hay and flowers from New Zealand would also be “cost-prohibitive.” Something about tariffs and customs and airfare to Wellington. I sort of tuned her out at “numbers.” Not interested.

At this point I was done. If we were on a conference call I would hit buttons until I heard a beep and silence. But she moved on to the Edible Exercise Pen.

“Belinda, although the entire team thinks the idea would be very popular with rabbits, and they would certainly enjoy eating holes in the sides of the pens, that defeats the purpose of pens.”

So there you go.

This is what it’s like to work with humans. They say one thing and do the opposite.

They love your ideas but they aren’t going to use them. All because of numbers and purposes.

My agent told me to “go back to the drawing board” but for now I’m under the steps with the gourmet hay I got for Christmas. Don’t even want to share it with my boyfriend and his companion. I just want to sit here by myself and chew.

Because when I like something, I eat it. Not the opposite.



Spokesrabbit, Small Pet Select

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