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Belinda Says Hay: “Record-breaking Sales”

rabbit belinda says hay record breaking sales

Hello. It’s Belinda.

A lot of people have been asking how my big day went.

They mean last Sunday, when my “Belinda Bundle” was the special for Day 10 of the holiday calendar.

For just that one day, you could get all of my favorite things for $39.99. Orchard hay, a sample bag of alfalfa, pear blueberry healthy snackers, Zen Tranquility herbal blend, a honeysuckle ring.

The company even threw in some stickers and a signed portrait of me. Because this whole thing was my idea.

Well, since Thanksgiving I’ve been worrying nonstop about this whole three-month performance review. Waiting for them to spring it on me.

Which by the way nobody has even mentioned except for my roommate and that might have been a “joke.” But smart to prepare just in case. Show initiative.

So when they went for my Belinda Bundle idea I made a big promise. I said it would be a record-breaking day. I told Josh to rent a second warehouse because demand would be so high.

And as far as I know, I was right. I know what rabbits like.

But nobody will give me the final numbers. And things are so weird here at home, I don’t dare ask again.

Weird with the roommate and, to be honest, with my agent and the rest of them. You would think they would want me to succeed but now I don’t know.

It all started last Saturday night. My roommate was doing some Christmas shopping online and then she went up to bed. Nothing unusual about that.

Except my Belinda Bundle went live at midnight and I was a wreck. Walking around with hay in my mouth. Forgetting to chew.

Tried to sleep but kept waking up from bad dreams about warehouses full of stickers that nobody wanted.

So around 3 a.m. I was roaming the downstairs when I noticed some lights. Turned out it was my roommate’s computer.

This is the part of the story where you have to remember something. Before I started this job and Josh sent me all of those boxes from the warehouse, my roommate ordered our food from Small Pet Select. Our address is in the customer database and that is a fact.

And the way I looked at it, it was time for us to pull our weight again, if you know what I mean. My roommate never leaves this house so she must have money stashed away. Doesn’t work for a living and that’s none of my business.

But we can’t expect Josh to support this household. Not his job.

So I got on her computer and ordered some Belinda Bundles. Once I was in there I figured might as well get a few extra. Help boost sales. “You have to spend money to make it.”

The whole thing took three minutes and I felt a lot better.

Well, the next morning I woke to the sound of my roommate on the phone. She sounded pretty upset and kept saying things like “How did they get it?” and “No, I was asleep!” and “Yes, cancel it!”

She came down to feed us and she didn’t say anything. Not even good morning. Then I heard her on the phone with my agent and I heard my name a few times.

Then nothing the rest of the day.

By the next afternoon I thought everything had blown over but I was wrong. She was typing away when suddenly she stopped and looked at me.

“Belinda. Who is Rue Mawtay?”

I froze.

“And why did Rue Mawtay order 100 Belinda Bundles yesterday?”

I kept staring straight ahead.

“The credit card company was asking. So if you hear from Rue Mawtay, let me know.”

Ever since then things have been tense. I act like I’m busy so I don’t get pulled into any conversations but I’m really just moving papers around.

So how did the big day go? No idea.

But I do know sales were very strong around 3 a.m.



Spokesrabbit, Small Pet Select

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