Belinda Says Hay: “This email is not funny.”

Belinda says hay e-mail blog


Hello. It’s Belinda.

There's a bad joke making the rounds here at home. It goes like this:

“I sent you an email.

If you don’t get it, let me know.

And I’ll send you another one.”

That's my roommate, trying to make me laugh. Because I’m dealing with a situation at work.

I didn’t laugh, but I did think, “Don’t quit your day job.” Not that she has one.

Anyway, there’s something hinky with the company email system and there is nothing funny about it.

Worst of all, I thought everything was fine until my friend “Rose Ronan” left me a message on Facebook:

I read that three times and then I said, “Hold the hoe.”

How long has this been going on?

Every week I write my blog. My agent puts my blog into the email system. When it all looks good, she hits a button labeled “send” or “mail now” or similar.

Then the emails shoot out into the internet. This is where it gets interesting.

Because Rose Ronan isn’t the only one.

Some of my blogs are landing where they’re supposed to. But others are lost on the internet somewhere. It could have something to do with time zones or solar flares, which I heard about on TV.

I don't understand how it all works, if you want to know the truth.

But now that I’m in management, I can’t just complain. I’m supposed to come up with solutions. If Andrew Carnegie had a problem with his email, would he just pace up and down inside the steel mill?

No. He would find another way to get his blogs to customers. And that’s exactly what I did.

My solution is to print my emails, fold them neatly, and ship them to everyone. If we can send hay and pellets and healthy snackers straight to the door, we can toss a blog post into the box.

I wrote a proposal explaining how it all would work and gave it to my agent to review. She pretended to read it but I could see that her eyes weren’t moving.

She was just delaying. Didn’t want to tell me, once again, that my idea was impractical.

Finally she blurted it out.

“Belinda, this is a very creative solution to the email situation.”

I waited.

“The good news is we have technology experts working on this around the clock. It will be fixed in no time.”

Then she told me it would be “too expensive” to mail tens of thousands of blogs posts every week. I assumed we could just throw them in the box with the weekly orders but it turns out customers order once a month or so, not every week.

Which was news to me.

In the meantime, I hope these technology experts can stuff envelopes because I have to hit my numbers.

Sincerely,

Belinda,

Spokesrabbit, Small Pet Select

NOTE: although we always appreciate Belinda's enthusiasm, and agree she comes up with some creative solutions, please be aware that we aren't, and can't, send out her blog by snail mail.  We are very sorry if any of you have missed her weekly blogs, and rest assured, we are working hard on it.  Especially now, since Belinda is, um, supervising our efforts. - The Agent

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