Chapter 115 - Understanding Humans
Merlot and Belinda were on the computer for their weekly call. Merlot said to Belinda, “I know you said I’m supposed to help humans understand us better, but sometimes, I don’t understand humans very well. Who helps us understand humans?”
Belinda thought for a moment and replied, “There’s a gizmo called AI. It stands for ‘Artificial Intelligence.’ I don’t know what’s artificial about intelligence, if you know what I mean. It’s supposed to answer questions for you. I think you’re supposed to just type a question into the box on the screen.”
Merlot had recently discovered a new-found confidence. She wasn’t afraid to try. She typed, “Why do humans steal our rabbit poop?” Merlot read the answer to Belinda, “It says humans steal rabbit poop because it is an exceptionally high-quality fertilizer.” Belinda scratched her ear and said, “Sounds like something my roommate would do.” Merlot looked skeptical, “I don’t think Dad is using my poop for fertilizer.” Neither rabbit was too sure about AI.
“Let’s try something else,” said Belinda, “My roommate calls me Belinda, Big White Rabbit, and other names. Does your Dad do that?” Merlot replied, “Ya. He calls me Merlot, Miss Merlot, Mer Mer, Lo Lo, Princess, and Little Pudge Pot.” Belinda suggested, “Ask it why humans call us by so many different names.”
Merlot typed in the question. A few seconds later, AI answered with, “Humans call pets by multiple names to deepen emotional bonds and express affection.” Belinda said, “Oh. I thought they were trying to confuse us.”
Merlot exclaimed, “I’ve got a good one.” She typed in, “Why do humans want to hug bunnies?” Belinda said, “That is a good one. What does AI say?” Merlot replied, “It says humans want to hug bunnies primarily because their extreme softness, small size, and gentle nature trigger a nurturing, caretaking response that lowers stress and releases oxytocin. As prey animals, their trust is hard to earn, making the act of cuddling a deeply bonding, calming experience that offers emotional comfort.” Merlot giggled, “So, in other words, because we’re cute and it’s an honor for us to let them hug us.” Belinda said, “Maybe, but come on. I’m not a fan of hugs. Makes me itchy.”
Merlot thought of another question, “How can a rabbit show a human they love them?” AI replied, “Groom, purr, flop, binky, zoomie, chin them, or nudge them with your nose.” They both agreed they did those things.
They were on a roll. Belinda said, “Ask it where’s the best place for a house rabbit to hide?” A few seconds later, Merlot read the answer, “The best places to hide are secure, dark, and quiet spots with at least two exits, like cardboard boxes, wooden hidey-house, cat tunnels, and under low furniture.” They both made mental notes about that one.
Merlot said, “Oh, I’ve got another one! Why do humans love rabbits?” The answer came back, “Rabbits are charming, have affectionate personalities, compact size, and a quiet, clean nature. They are low-maintenance, intelligent and trainable, and adorable.” Merlot and Belinda stared at each other for a long moment. Then they both burst out laughing. “Well, it’s true about intelligent and adorable, but I don’t know about low-maintenance and trainable,” said Merlot. Neither rabbit was too sure about the accuracy of AI.
It was getting late and time for their afternoon naps. Belinda and Merlot said their goodbyes and hopped away to their favorite nap spots.
A little while later, Dad sat down at the computer to do some work. Merlot had left the browser open. Dad looked at the list of questions in the browser. He shook his head and chuckled, “Rabbits!”
Merlot and Belinda try to understand humans through AI with mixed results.
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